F**K This Snow: The Trouble with January Birthdays


It’s always a worry, but still you plan, you make decisions, you fuss, you make calls, you buy things. And then, you have to call everything off because of the effin’ snow.

snow ruins everythingAnd it never changes. When you’re young, your parents try to make you feel better when your birthday turns out to be just another day with cake~~IF they picked it up yesterday. As you get a little older, you look out the window and SCREAM: F**K YOU, YOU F**KING SNOWSTORM and go anyway, because you’re turning twenty-one, dammit, and you will NOT be denied. You clean off the car and make your way painstakingly down the driveway, your tires spinning, your spirit waning, and the next thing you know, you’re back inside, calling people who live close enough to walk and begging them to come over.

It’s not fair, especially when your brother’s birthday is in JUNE and he always had the BEST parties OUTSIDE and nobody ever, EVER says “you know, we just got you all those presents for Christmas, so, you know, you really don’t need anything else already, right?”

January birthdays kinda suck. What’s more, everyone’s had it up to HERE with parties and cake and having to buy presents and spend money and the calories~the CALORIES~and they really just want to stay home and read a book under a blanket and have some TEA for gawd’s sake, not CHAMPAGNE.

Snuggling under a blanketSo, we January babies already have our work cut out for us, prying people out of their toasty, comfy homes to come play with us. And we want to play because it’s winter and it’s sad and it’s cold out there but it’s also our BIG DAY, the only one we get all year, and we want it to be special.

I grew up resenting my stupid, younger brother and his stupid outside birthday parties. Now that he’s older, he doesn’t even care about his birthday, even though everyone always thinks we should “do something for him.” Why? Because his birthday is June 3rd, and people are feeling happy and the days are getting longer and it’s so nice outside and IT’S JUNE, WHAT A GREAT TIME FOR A PARTY!

Yeah. I have an older brother, too, and his birthday is tomorrow, the day before mine. He is one year and one day older than I am, but we only lived together for four years because he was brain damaged at birth and…well…I guess it was just too hard. My parents drove us all to a special school one day; they left him there, and I cried all the way home.

For most of my life now, I’ve felt gypped, in the way that girls do when they do not get something they were supposed to get, like a big brother. I know my life has been harder as I had to lead the way in the family, not just follow behind my big, strong brother. I am the middle sister goddammit, not the oldest, but everyone has always forgotten that. And when my birthday rolls around, it’s always colored by the sadness that is my brother’s birthday. Not only that, my younger brother can’t even remember which day is whose and I mean, seriously? You have two siblings with days right next to each other; can it really be that hard? Sheesh. I have no problem remembering his birthday, even though he is the ONLY ONE IN THE WHOLE FAMILY, including my son and his daughter and our parents and only uncle (and that IS the whole family), who is not born on the 20th, 21st, 22nd, 25th or 29th.

images(That’s the family tree of birthdays, and five of them are this week!)

But as usual, I digress. This is about the fucking snow and how it always either threatens to ruin (anxiety) or actually ruins (depression) my birthday. And the worst part? I CAN’T DO A FUCKING THING ABOUT IT.

You know how frustrating it is when you bang your shin on the coffee table and you wanna kill somebody but–who can you blame? Blame the table and kick it back to let it know who’s boss and, well, you just hurt yourself again. Smash your nail-holding-thumb with the hammer, crash the hammer into the wall and who suffers? You, when you have to fix the hole.

It’s like that with snow. Who the hell am I gonna kill when snow ruins my plans for a happy birthday?

snow miserNow, you might be inspired to suggest that I make some alternate plans for a happy day in case all my other plans are ruined this week, and to you I say WHO ASKED YOU? No, the plans are made. I want to make that 2 hour drive to see my brother on his birthday tomorrow; I don’t want an alternate plan because there is nothing else I can do. It’s go visit or nothing; he’s not one to come to the phone.

I have a 3-tiered plan for Wednesday, followed by plans for Friday. Yes, I make a big deal out of my birthday, and my son’s, and anyone else’s who likes it because birthdays ARE a big deal, just ask someone who no longer has one. Yeah.

So, I’m putting this out there to the universe because what the hell else is a blog good for? PLEASE DO NOT SEND THIS PART OF THE WORLD A HUGE SNOWSTORM THIS WEEK. IF YOU MUST, SEND A FLURRY OR TWO, NOTHING TO KEEP PEOPLE OFF THE ROADS AND AWAY FROM THE CELEBRATIONS. PA-LEASE. And I thank you in advance for your cooperation πŸ™‚ After all, why should we January babies suffer more than we already do?



3 thoughts on “F**K This Snow: The Trouble with January Birthdays

So, Whattya think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s